Neil and God

Neil has had an interesting relationship with God. While my DH and I are not really religious, we do have our beliefs in a higher power. We dont actively practice our religion (Hinduism) so we have never really spoken about the concept of God or faith or religion in our house. Neil has shown an active interest in hindu religious customs from early on - possibly due to my mother-in-law living with us off and on and her being extremely religious. So it shouldnt have surprised me when he asked me on July 31st night, "Mom, can I pray to God?". Of course yes, I said. So he sat in front of the idols we have clasping his hands, thinking. Then he turned to me and asked, "what should I pray mom". To which I replied that he could thank God for everything he has: a good home, great family, loving parents etc. He started thinking and then popped the question: is God like us? Is he a person like us? Hmm, how was I to answer that one? I said no because I dont believe in God as a person. I tried saying something like God is a higher power than people that we cannot see and cannot fully understand. Quite an obtuse answer if I say so myself! :D But clearly I wasnt prepared. Maybe if I were religious, I would be prepared but that really goes against my person. Then came the next question: if God isnt a person, how did he make all of us and everything around us like trees, animals and all that? Err, I dont really know. (see, only ppl can "make" things...). So I tried another obtuse explanation like its a force that we cannot understand that created everything around us before we were created. He was either satisfied or he gave up thinking mom's gone cuckoo! Then he turned around and prayed: "Thank you God for everything you have given me: my home, my family and my toys. I love my mom, my dad, my grandparents. And I love YOU."

Regardless of whether I truly believe in the concept of God or a higher power that doesnt translate to religion, my little one does have a relationship with HIM that I dont quite understand! Ah, what a precious little 4 year old! :)

February 8, 2011

Haven't been posting a whole lot in the past few years and I feel like I am losing out on remembering little incidents from Neil's precious childhood. I post frequent silly or funny quotes from him on Facebook but what I should be doing is writing the context here so I remember years down the line. He is such an entertainer! He makes me laugh, makes me cry - sometimes annoys the hell out of me but mostly brings out such love that its hard to describe. He loves dancing and singing Hindi songs. I am choreographing a dance for a bunch of 4-year olds and they are such a joy to work with! Pretty amazing that they remember the obscure steps I teach them.

July 21, 2008

Neil is 22 months old now. He has already taken a big vacation – to Alaska, no less! – in June and then been on a long weekend trip to San Francisco. He does really well during travel (wonder where that bug came from!!). He loved the cruise we took to Alaska and behaved much better than we had hoped. We took a helicopter ride in Juneau and he truly enjoyed that! We thought he would be terrified but he surprised us!

He’s started talking a riot now – he says whole sentences and interlaces English and Kannada. He says cute stuff like “Come elli” and “go alli” and “Kodu me” which we find very adorable (which parent doesn’t!). But the best part is we can communicate with him like he’s a little adult! Its amazing. He’s also grown extremely close to his cousin, Esha. He seems to adore her – which makes me feel ever so strongly about having another child and a sibling for him.

January 28, 2008

Neil is almost a year and a half old. There are so many heart-warming moments and drive-me-up-the-wall-I-want-to-pull-out-my-hair moments as well! This morning, Neil wanted the Vaseline jar that I told him he cannot have. He started howling and throwing a tantrum. This has become very common these days – if he cannot have something or if we tell him it’s not for him, he starts howling and throwing a fit. I kept repeating that he cannot have it, and he stopped crying, toned down his voice and said “peass” which means “please” (plus he signed the word please in his baby sign language)! It was so very adorable! I had to fight my emotions hard to stay put and continue to say no to him! That’s what parenting is all about, I suppose!

Last week (Jan 21-24), Neil had very high fever. It was the first time, his fever went up to 104.4. Almost scared us into going to the ER but we didn’t. He was doing fine in terms of his day-to-day behavior and activity. He did get lethargic for 2 days and stayed clinging on to me. Poor guy! Just the week before on Jan 11 when he completed 16 months, I stopped giving him the bottle for his night-time milk and middle-of-the-night milk feeding. I switched to offering him the sippy cup. He didn’t protest too much but reduced his intake of milk. I am being very persistent about this although it breaks my heart to see him not have even 16 oz of milk in a day. He did start sleeping much better but the last 2 days he has been waking up a lot at night. I wonder if its because he is hungry! I am contemplating giving his last feed for the day in the bottle and cutting out the middle-of-the-night feeding and then slowly scaling back. No one said parenting was going to be easy! It’s a tough choice!

Month of October, 2007

October 1, 2007: Today Neil moved to the “mobile monkeys” section in day care – kids here are more mobile and Neil gets to do a lot more: walk around, eat more adult like food, do arts & crafts. I think Neil is enjoying it although he is definitely more clingy and cries a lot when I drop him off.

Neil got better at day care when I sent him full time for a week while mom and dad were visiting Cleveland. He cried less when I dropped him off and Sri’s trick of walking him into the day care (instead of carrying him) seemed to work pretty well too.

I started taking Neil to the potty every morning. He responded to it very well for the first two weeks or so. But then, off late, he refuses to do it in the potty. For that matter his whole cycle of eating-pooping-sleeping has taken a turn for the worse. Every day is a new time-table. Its challenging. But there are cute moments. Like last night (October 30, 2007), after having his dinner, he pooped. And I told him that he needed to use the potty and to let Mamma know that he needed to go. After I said that he headed straight for the restroom where I usually take him! It was cute – I had to tell him that it was too late and we would go upstairs and give him a bath instead. Promptly he started scaling the stairs.

He’s also become a hoodlum at the day care. I saw him physically pummel another kid and snatch a toy from her!

Month of September, 2007

Neil turned 1 on September 11, 2007! A full one year! Its been an amazing journey to see him grow into this amusing little tyke! We celebrated his birthday in the Miramar overlook park on September 15^th. Right after his first birthday he started walking with so much more confidence and vigor!

September 21, 2007: Neil went in for his 1 year doc visit today. 3 shots – Flu was an extra one today – he also got MMR and Varicella vaccinations! Neil screamed bloody murder before he even got the shots – it almost seemed like he took one look at the needle and knew what was coming! But his screams lasted for only about 50 seconds – as soon as the band-aid was snapped on his thigh, he stopped screaming. He also didn’t yell when the nurse inserted the needle in his arm to do a TB test. So I guess all in all, he did pretty good. He weighed in at 20 lbs 5 oz (he is now in the 20^th percentile! Woohoo!) and measured 31 and 3/4^th inches long (the 95^th percentile). The nurse did a double take on his length but he is one tall skinny guy! Since he passed the 20 lbs and 1 year criteria, he now gets to sit in a front facing car-seat! And does he love it!

September 29, 2007: Sri bathed Neil for the very first time and did an amazing job doing it! J

Month of August, 2007

August 1, 2007: What a nightmare it has been today! I picked Neil up from daycare and he seemed his normal self. They had been reporting loose bowel movements for 2-3 days now but I didn’t take particular notice. Neil didn’t have his night-time meal as he usually does but that didn’t really bother me till I finished bathing him and while dressing him up, he threw up! Once I finished cleaning him, re-dressing him, taking him downstairs, I gave him his bottle – he drank some and threw up again! He did this 2 more times and I nearly lost it! He threw up in the bedroom, on the sheets, in the kitchen, in the bathroom and I was nearly hysterical! I didn’t know what to do. I called the doc’s office and they told me that it could be stomach flu. The virus was making the rounds in the county and that I should let him rest without feeding him anything. I stayed up most of the night watching over him because he continued to gag in his sleep and throw up fluids! It was tough to watch him struggle and suffer.

August 24, 2007: Neil took 6 steps in day care today! His first attempt at walking! Over the weekend (aug 25, 26) he tried taking 2-3 steps at a time, Its pretty neat to see him stand on his own and try to walk. His grandparents are back in town and Neil has taken a fancy to his Grandpa! Its amazing to see him hover around him all the time and to see my Dad enjoy all the attention he’s getting from Neil! Neil is now sleeping in the full-size mattress in his room. He sleeps much better now and most of the days does a 8-9 hour stretch after which he wakes up to drink milk and then goes back to sleep for 1-2 hours. So it’s not bad at all.

Month of July, 2007

Neil now recognizes words like “Bye-bye”, “ball”, “clap”, “hi-five” – he responds to these words with actions! He also learnt to climb up the stairs (in the first week of July in PIT) and about 2 weeks later learnt to climb down the stairs. He’s quite a master at it now!

Month of June, 2007 - Continued

Neil was sick this month – his first ear infection. Neil seemed feverish on June 1^st, but we thought it was simply a by-product of his cold. When the fever hovered between 98 and 101 for 4 days, I called the doctor’s office where they told me that if the fever goes up over 100, to bring him in. We took him to the doctor’s office on 7^th where he was diagnosed with ear infection. He hadn’t shown any symptoms like tugging his ear or reduced appetite, so the diagnosis was a surprise! I was a little bummed but Neil seemed to be doing just fine. He was prescribed a 10-day dose of Amoxicillin (an antibiotic). Also, I learned that Tylenol should be given only when the fever is above 100 or if the baby is in pain (to reduce the feeling of pain); but for fevers below 100, there is no need to give Tylenol.

Neil started losing his appetite the second day after he started taking the antibiotic. It was sad to see him like that but he recovered pretty fast and by mid-week (around June 14^th) he was back to being himself. The first few days back at the day care he was very clingy and fussy. But by the end of the week, his appetite and his good nature was back! I was so relieved – all this night waking up and looking after him caused me to get really sick. I ran a temperature of 102 and was diagnosed with sinus infection! Boy, oh, boy, it was getting to be an interesting month of being a mommy all by myself i.e. no help from anyone else! I recovered after a bout of antibiotic as well. Sri managed to work from home during the week that Neil was sick, so that certainly helped out.

After all this, Neil is still not sleeping very well through the night. I have tried all kinds of variations in his schedule and diet but to no avail. I have moved his dinner time closer to bed time, added formula for his pre-bedtime feeding along with nursing, given him a lovey, a soft blankie – all have been failures so far. He manages to sleep through the night for 2-3 out of the seven days in a week. The rest of the days he has a very erratic schedule. He also does not sleep very well during the day in the day-care.

Apart from that his progress has been fantastic. He is now eating more adult-like food – he loves to eat bread, chapatti, rice – anything he can munch on. He has graduating to eating yogurt and cheese. Its really fun to see him eat all this. He also demands food now – which is quite entertaining. He is beginning to exhibit quite a temper and his personality is starting to show. He moves around a lot and tries to stand up quite a bit. He has also started pulling the cabinet doors and drawers in the kitchen. Time to get those child locks on, I suppose!

Month of June, 2007

June 1, 2007: Neil started showing signs of fever tonight.

June 7, 2007: After a few days of off and on fever hovering between 98 and 101 degrees, we finally took Neil to the doc today. Unfortunately, he has ear infection! After 8 months of avoiding the “ever-present” ear infection, one month into day care and he gets it. Although, ear infection itself is not contagious, the cold that caused it, is. He likely got the cold from the day care and apparently the long lasting cold blocked his Eustachian tubes which likely caused the infection. So now he has to be on a 10 day course of Antibiotic (amoxicillin) and no swim classed till the course is done!

This week has been insane. Because Neil was out of day care and because he had fever off and on, I had to keep attending to him at night. Lack of sleep and looking after him has sapped my strength so Sri has agreed to work from home. Lucky for us his project is in LA and no too far away from home.

June 15, 2007: Today was Neil’s 9 month appointment. He weighs 17 lbs (he’s in the 5th percentile) and is 29 1/4th inches (75th percentile) – one tall, lanky kid! I was disappointed by his weight gain but then he did fall sick the last few days and his food intake really went down. He kept drinking more milk and water but didn’t want to eat solids. On the other hand, his developmental milestones are on target and he looks fantastic in that area: he stands with support, crawls, says “dadada”, shows his mastery of the “pincer grasp” – although he is not very good with it.

June 17, 2007: 10 days since Neil was diagnosed with ear infection – he seems to have finally cleared it. A few days ago his appetite returned to normal – his teacher at the day care also mentioned that his personality returned to normal (he had been clingy the past few days). He is very talkative – keeps babbling all the time and very mobile – cannot site in one place for a moment! He is certainly a bundle of energy! Which probably goes to show why I ended up with sinus infection this past week – it was definitely one long week. I had cold/cough/fever and sinus infection! It was a tough week but I finally feel better. Neil is really fun right now where he can recognize his food/milk and respond to it. So if I show him his dinner or milk bottle, he comes crawling towards it if he’s hungry! Its so much joy to see this reaction from him!

Month of May, 2007

Neil completed 8 months the week of May 7th. Unbelievable that he is 8 months old already! As clichéd as it sounds, time does fly when you have a little one around! Neil started part-time day-care on May 7th. He did very well going to day care from 8-12 everyday for two weeks. Starting May 21, we started full time day care for Neil.

In the first week of day care (May 7-11), Neil’s sleep cycle was all over the map – mostly due to jet lag from the India trip. By May 12 weekend, he was back to PST time zone and during the May 14-18 week, he actually managed to sleep through the night – from 8 pm to 4 am when he would wake up for his morning feed. It was fantastic – I figured if he maintained, I could go back to work full time – no problem. Come May 21 though and Neil started having this witching hour phenomenon – he would wake up around 1:30 – 2 am and would not go to sleep for another hour of so! I tried ignoring his cries, patting him back to sleep, rocking him… everything short of feeding him. He would fall asleep and then wake up again and roll over and cry. This would go on for about 40 mins after which he would fall asleep and not wake up till 5-5:30 am. I am going nuts with this crazy sleep pattern. He is also not drinking milk at the day care very well. Yesterday (may 23) he did not eat his lunch either! I was so bummed out. I felt really sad. I am hoping he does better today. May 25 – Neil did very well at the day care today. He fed well and ate well! Woohoo!

On another positive note, Sri has learnt to feed Neil solid food! Its great because now it doesn’t have to be me all the time. Sri is doing very well with Neil – I am so proud of the way he has adapted – I feel, sometimes, much better than I have. And as for Neil’s motor skills and physical development: he still does not crawl but he gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth. He is attempting to stand up anytime he gets some leverage: my hands, the TV stand, pillows – anything that he can hold onto and push up with his legs. Its amazing to see him do this. He even puts his tiny feet forward in a walking motion if we hold his hands!

May 27 – Neil finally figured out how to sit up by himself! He pushes himself up on his hands and knees and then pushes back to sit! Its very cute! He’s also trying to move on his hands and knees but then ends up on his belly.

May 28 – today was Neil’s first full day out in the sun at the beach. He seemed to enjoy the waves, although he did not enter the water. He did some “walking” in the sand although he prefers the wet hard sand to the dry sloshy one. He’s come back home with sun-kissed cheeks (hopefully they are not sun-burned!!)

May 29 (3:38 am): I am sitting here in the middle of the night waiting for Neil to stop crying. He has been crying since 3 am. He woke up at 2:30 and I tried patting him back to sleep. He did go back to sleep but the moment I left him in the crib he started crying. I brought him to my bed and he went back to sleep again but back in the crib and he was up crying. So I decided enough is enough, let me be stubborn and wait it out tonight. It definitely hurts and I had to stop myself from going in several times when I heard him cry and cough. What if he throws up? What if he hurts himself?... Its 3:40 am – and hello! I don’t hear him cry anymore!
3:56 am: Hmm, I made the mistake of going in and checking on him. He was indeed asleep but then I tried to move his blanket over him and he woke up! Duh! Next time, I’ll know better. Anyway, atleast I could possibly turn off the monitor and expect him to cry himself to sleep. That’s the evil side of being a mom, I suppose – feels really mean but how else to teach your baby to fall asleep by himself at night? (or so says the doc!)

He also started swim lessons this month. Its more of a splash and fun class that he goes to with his dad. He seems to love it so far.

Month of April, 2007

Neil completes 7 months next week. We had his ‘namakarana’ in the first week of April. Through all the smoke from the ‘homa’ and the naming ceremony, Neil was perfectly content and happy to watch the entire goings on. He did get a little fussy during the naming ceremony but only because he was really hungry and he had not had his milk. People fed him “bhaje” using their finger/ring, who knows with what hands! But the little guy took it all. By the end of it all, he was really tired. The following few days he caught a cold and started coughing a little.

Through this week of April 9, 2007, Neil has been struggling through his first cold/cough. He has thrown up a few times and he fusses/cries through his feeding. Its hard to watch him go through this but there is really nothing anyone can do. I have tried applying baby vicks but he doesn’t really like it. He keeps rubbing it off.

He has started having formula in his cereal and a few times in the bottle as well. As far as his solids are concerned, he’s eaten peas, carrots, beans, sweet potatoes, squash and even potato. I started giving him rice and daal this week and he absolutely loves it.

Neil even had his full blown fever on the flight back to US from India. But he did just fine on the flight. God bless him – he was such a sweetheart. My only complain: he still does not sleep through the night very well. Sometimes he turns on his side and sleeps – that just looks so very adorable – I even got some snaps of it!

By the end of April, Neil is moving super fast all over the place – he doesn’t quite crawl yet but “creeps” on his belly using his hands and mostly just his right leg. But that doesn’t slow him down. I have to wonder what I will do once I am back in SD, all alone with him!

Week of March 26, 2007

As kids most likely do, Neil managed to amaze us during the long flight to India. We traveled on Singapore Airlines from LA to Singapore via Taipei. Sri got Neil and me into business class by giving up his seat. We traveled in style – the flight was very comfy and the service was excellent. Neil did not cry during take-off or landing and did remarkably well throughout the flight – eating his solids well, nursing well and not being fussy. I also had the seat next to me empty – so it was an added bonus. I was counting my blessings as we boarded our last leg to Bangalore – Neil did well on this flight too but off all the legs, he was fussiest on this one. During our break in Taipei and Singapore, everything seemed to amaze the little guy; he kept squealing in excitement and delight! I couldn’t have asked for a nicer baby on the flight!

Once in Bangalore, Sri and I thought, the heat and noise would annoy him. Not so! He seemed to be excited by everything – the noise, the people, etc. He did amazingly well during Vinod’s wedding and reception where he seemed to have become the center of attention. Everyone was thrilled with his constant smile and willingness to go to every beckoning person. Hmm, it wasn’t the same behavior as San Diego – thankfully, of course – he was nicer here.

Week of March 19, 2007

This week is just Neil and me – the first time that mom and son are alone at home. I am working from home this week and its certainly a challenge. Neil is not being himself. He has not been sleeping well in his bassinet. Moving him into my bed got him to sleep for a longer stretch but he does not sleep as well as before. We also undertake our long journey to India this week. I am anxious about Neil’s reaction to traveling in an enclosed space and changing air pressure.

Week of March 12, 2007

After Neil’s shots, he slept well one night but then he has not been sleeping well at all. I have had to miss several days of work due to lack of sleep. L But Neil did something quite remarkable on Tuesday (13^th). I was sitting in the study working and he was lying on the floor right there when we started rolling over – fist slowly from back to tummy then tummy to back and then faster and faster! It was great to watch him do that for the first time. He repeated it several times in the day and then the next day too. But then he rolled onto the hardwood floor downstairs and hit his head on the floor! That was sufficient to discourage him from ever doing it again the rest of the week!

Week of March 5, 2007

Neil is completing 6 months this week and he also gets his 6 month shots. This time Sri went with us to get the shots. Neil did remarkably well – he didn’t cry too much. But his weight gain leaves much to be desired – he is only 14 lbs 12 oz (10th percentile) and his height is 27 inches (75^th percentile). So the doc has asked me to ensure he gets more milk.

Week of February 26, 2007

Neil is on a better night-sleep schedule this week. I believe the “forget-the-monitor” did the trick. I, however, am not sleeping so well. The monitor keeps making these electronic sounds that’s very annoying. I have discovered that keeping it on the floor rather than on my bed-side table works – could this be due to the proximity of the cordless phone? Neil doesn’t sleep well during the day – he does remain very active and playful but no schedule as far as sleep is concerned! He focuses very intently every time he plays with something – any little thing that catches his fancy for that moment is the object of his undivided attention. Its very interesting to watch him focus and try to grasp things or turn them around. He also recognized my voice and even Sri’s voice from anywhere. He turns around so adoringly when we call out to him (yeah, he responds to his name now!) and searches for us!

Week of February 19, 2007

Due to all the crazy symptoms last week, I ended up taking Neil to the doc, who simply said everything was fine with Neil. He's 14 lbs, 4.5 oz. Just a shade ok... he still doesnt feed a lot but otherwise he is a happy active kid. Nothing to worry about. I need to let him sleep through the night is what the doc said! ;-) "Kiss him goodnight, close the room door and walk back in 10 hours later", is how he said it! Oh, well! I knew I wasnt doing a good thing by waking up at night and catering to his "mum..mum" demands, so I decided to mend my ways. And guess how I did it? I forgot to turn on the baby monitor! I got 8 hours of blissful sleep and woke up pretty amazed that Neil had not cried all night. When I turned around to look at the monitor I realized it was off and ended up feeling sooooo guilty! Anyway, he was fast asleep when I checked up on him. So I was not too worried. He nursed well and continued to be playful through the day.

Week of February 12, 2007

After returning from the trip, Neil's sleep cycle is all messed up. Its mostly my fault coz I woke up in the middle of the night several times and fed him. So Neil got into this habit of waking up and crying "mum..mum..mum" which during the day means he's hungry. At night, as it turns out, he wasnt really hungry but he probably figured out that doing that got him attention! I have also been noticing Neil sweating a lot during nursing, especially around his head/face. He still has his off and on coughing and several times this week he threw up or spit up his milk/food. It started getting us worried.

Week of February 5, 2007

This week is going to be a first for Neil - his first time on a flight! I am a little nervous - its a precursor to our long flight to India that we will be taking in March. Packing for this trip has been an interesting experience so far - almost 5 bags for 2 days of trip.

The flight itself turned out to be so much better than I had hoped. Both ways I got an extra seat to put Neil's car seat in. In retrospect, it wasnt such a great idea because holding him close to me turned out to be better. On the way to San Jose, I put the pacifier in his mouth. He did ok during the take off but during landing when the pacifier wasnt in his mouth, he started howling! Sticking the pacifier back in there did the trick but he has pooped and he was just miserable. On the way back though, I fed him during take off and landing - and I discovered that it worked wonders! He did not cry one bit and he was happy after we landed! Overall Neil was a great travel kid on his maiden voyage. He had an excellent time at his Uncle's place - carrying the portable bather made bathing time great fun too!

Week of January 29, 2007

Neil has started squealing in delight! His squeals are very amusing and loud! I thought he was a quiet one but oh, no! He is loud... he gets excited by the most mundane stuff - tickles on his belly, moving leaves on a tree, being strapped into the stroller in anticipation of his daily walks! He is a funny one.. every time he squeals, we burst out laughing. The best part about having a baby is being able to share his growing days with my mother (i.e. Neil's Domma). Its such a joy to watch her enjoy every moment with him. He is a riot and entertains us every single day. On superbowl sunday, however, his social element was put to test again. He wasnt happy when I took him to a friends place, although on the ride there he kept me amused with his usual squeals of delight (this time a Garfield stuffed pillow was his source of joy!). As soon as I walked in through my friends house front door his demeanor changed. He cried when friends held him and wasnt happy on the floor or in any ones arms. But of course, once I came back home, he was the king of the domain - happy to be in his familiar surroundings, happy to see people he recognized. Ah, the challenges of being a mommy! Now, I have to figure out how to make him more social.

Week of January 22, 2007

Neil is mastering his own schedule. I gave up on trying to get him to nap in the afternoon. He takes his naps in the mornings and evening. Afternoons seem to be the witching hour - no naps, only playtime. He is determined not to let his grandma sleep in the afternoon either! This weekend (Jan 27) we went to another kid's bday party. It was socializing time for Neil. He was jolly and pretty content so long as he was in his car seat. Neil has always been good in crowds up until this week. It was a revelation for me when someone came to cuddle him and pick him up. He started screaming bloody murder! It seems to me like he was in pain - so I tried calming him down, took off his clothes thinking it was maybe too warm for him and tried nursing him thinking he may be hungry! But uh-huh... nothing seemed to work! He calmed down on his own accord. And when finally he seemed to be smiling, I took him back into the party where he promptly threw a fit again when someone other than me held him! Whew! What a pain but for now he seems to be a complete anti-social animal.